A Trans Story - Venting

So this week I was going to continue with my story, leading into my twenties and all the fun stuff that happened during that time. But right now I feel the need to vent about some issues that occurred this weekend - namely with my Sister in Law - my brothers wife.

My sister in law and I have never really gotten along, but still she completely crossed the line this weekend. Ever since she found out I was Trans and that I was accepting myself,

she has been a bit more of a bitch. She was really upset that I told my nieces before I told my brother, her husband. She really nagged on me about that, and I ended up calling my brother to set the record straight.

But over the last year my sister in law has reached out to my wife, and even going so far as to blame my wife for my Transition. The silly woman is of the opinion that my wife has brainwashed me and that I am transitioning for her. Where she gets that stupid

idea is completely beyond me, but thats the way she seems to think. 

This weekend though, things escalated. Just the other week I finally got to court to change my name and I sent my brother a snapchat to let him know right after I had told my

Mother. I then chatted with the sister in law to let her know that I had messaged my brother and that I had changed my name.

She got downright mean from that point. I will write her responses exactly as she sent them to me. I wish you luck in deciphering some of her meanings. Her responses can be

incomprehensible at times. Her response was "Yes Ok no problem I know you say you have legally changed your name but that does not mean you can expect us to call you your new name just of the drop of a hat. You will be Graham to me, your brother, Mum, Uncle and you will be called Uncle by your nieces and nephews thats what they will refer you as to me there granny there sisters there brother there uncle as thats what they are used to so dont expect anything less from any of us things take time and with you not being here it is very difficult for us just to call you a new name so thats life its hard and thats it."

If she had not made such a point of me always being Graham to her, I may have had a nicer response. But to put it bluntly I told her that a few times by accident would be ok, but more than that and I will no longer be answering to Graham or any male pronoun. Also told her it was not at a drop of a hat as I had been transitioning for over a

year and my chosen name had been on Facebook for almost as long. I then informed her that she should educate herself on how to talk to a Trans person before trying to press her opinion.

She didnt much care for that response and quickly came back with "Trying to press my opinion Oh Graham I am not trying, I am. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and its not

like we ever see or hear from you so I suppose to ever call you anything any ways so oh well. Dont ever talk to me again I dont want to ever educate myself on how to talk to you Graham so this is the best of my education I know."

I heard nothing else from her as I was choosing to ignore her. It is a waste of time to try and enlighten this person and she was showing just how hateful she really was. The

woman is incapable of being nice with someone she doesnt understand. Well I actually wasnt choosing to ignore her, that choice was forced on me, as she tends to block me after sending hateful messages.

But on Saturday February

18 I began to receive more messages from her, completely out of the blue, each one progressively nastier.

So here is the

conversation exactly as it occurred - some of her tantrums dont really make much sense

You might think you have changed with bitch zandra brain washing you but deep down you will never be changed ever on your birth certificate your gender will be "M" as in male , am I educated enough to know this..lol Your name might be changed but not gender so go back tell your stupid bitch amnerican lesbian women she is knows knows fuck all (co mon the Trumph)

My responses are dark

grey highlighted.

You

are a nasty bitch and you know nothing

Genitals have very little to do with gender. Gender is in the mind, hormones and many other aspects, but you would not know this since you are so narrow minded. And dont talk about my wife like that. She had nothing to do with my decision to accept myself for who I really am. And if you cannot accept me I do not need you in my life

Your

still male on certificate though and will alway be so go back n tell your idiotic American wife this and tell her triumph xx

Actually

wrong again

The birth certificate can be changed

If you learned about things yo might know that

Whet

if I learned to not let his brother not fall out with him I might be educated?

But

you are nothing more than a narrow minded bigot. And my wife is far more intelligent than you. She can spell. She knows grammar and is far better educated than you. Go stick your head in the ground and stay out if my life. I dont need anyone that is so bigoted in my life

As for the brother comment I cannot even understand what you are talking about. Please speak english

She

might be able to spell and know her grammar 1 thing she will never give you to what I have and what your mum had is 4 wonderful grandchildren, times played,times,dinner it all nothing ever beats ever having that time

I

have a son and a grandchild that I love and love spending time with. Zandra and I are more than happy with what.we have. And I have a wife that supports me in the path my life has taken.

Speak

"English"?just go back to fat lazy bastard how much more English do I need to go into?

Things get said out of proportion so they say it never stopped you with me ?

Perhaps

english that makes sense. And being a nasty bitch does not get your point across anymore. It just makes you sound even more stupid

And since you cannot make sense and can only insult me and my wife, then this conversation is over, as is your presence in my life.

I feel no need to defend myself, or my life, or what I have had to do to accept myself. I pity you and your narrow, closed mind that is incapable of a new thought, or of accepting diversity. Goodbye. I never need to see or talk to you again

See you ya

ignorant wee bastard if it wasn't for me even your brother would not have spoken to you do you have a short memory , yes short memory , I do remember Graham calling trying to arrange a call

Is that your. Bitch? Talking again is she herring great pleasure hearing me say this? Is it turning her on in here weird way,that you marry together.,then be apart is that even legal in Us? Only

You will never be "m""male" on birth certificate ..how much more "educated" should one be ??? Graham

No giving birth or being able to have children with one you love must be heart destroying I as a mother could not imagine the pain of that I am so thankful I (have a decent ,good,man who can do all that no one could ever describe how much love in the blessing involved , also I was. Blessed in sitting in a good kind natured lesbian tonight , she even read my texts n she could understand our good auld Scottish ways

You are still a male registered a male and changing your first name will never change your gender even if you ever come to uk u will be called graham haha

So here I was subjected to a barrage of hatred from someone who is supposed to be family. Granted my responses were not what I would call the best either, but I had pretty much had enough by this time. I knew that my sister in law was uneducated and nasty, but I didn’t think she would be quite this full of hate, especially as what I am going through changes nothing for her at all.

She is wrong in several of her assumptions. In the UK I can

have a correction issued on my birth certificate and my gender markers can be changed on all of my ID’s in both the UK and the US, so I will be female. But to be honest the birth certificate thing had no reason to be even brought up. Why is it such a problem for me to be female for her, why does she hate it so much? Why is she so obstinate about it?

I had known for a bit that she was under the impression that Zandra was making me do this transition and I also suspected my Mother might think something similar, or at the very least she would blame it on my living in America. My mother had intimated as much in the past.

So I called my Mum on Sunday, figuring she would have heard about everything by then. She had and her response was – your sister in law was drunk, you know how she gets. Like that is any bloody excuse for inflicting someone with this much hatred. All I got from my Mother was that I need to understand they have known me as Graham for 40 years and that is hard for me. Yes well its bloody hard for me to you know. When will my family clue into that fact, probably not at all if you ask me. They are all focused on the fact that its not Scottish for me to be doing this. Which is exactly what my Mum said. She told me that I would probably not find acceptance in Scotland and that what I was doing was very American. Which is a bunch  of bullshit. The UK government is more accepting of Transgender issues than the US one is. We have more rights over there, while in the US I have to fight to even be recognized as a woman and to have the rights that Cis gender folks take for granted. But My mother and probably most of my family think and feel differently. They think that I was normal until I came over here. They think I had no bloody issues until I came over here. What they are not realizing is that their reactions right now are the prime reason why I said nothing growing up. I knew they would think it was weird, that there was something wrong with me, so why the hell would I have wanted to say anything to them. It took me 26 bloody years to get the strength to face the truth, all because of their stupid fucking attitudes. The very attitudes I am experiencing from all of them.

Another disappointment was my younger niece. She messaged me after I posted on Facebook that I had had enough of my family blaming  my wife or America and that it was high time they realized that I had always been this way and just never said anything because I was scared. My niece told me that I and her mother had to stop posting stuff on facebook and that she was not taking sides. What was really disappointing is that everyone knows how full of hate the bloody woman is and no one is saying a damn thing about her. Why should I have to put up with her attacks, while they sit back and say nothing until I complain about it online and then they tell me to just ignore her and such. Why the fuck should I ignore her? Why should I be subjected to her bullshit and why is my family not sticking up for me and telling her to shut the fuck up.

They are not sticking up for me, cause they all think the same way as her, they just choose not to say it. So pretty much they are all a bunch of stupid cowards who seem to think that anything outside of Scotland is weird and that nothing weird happens in the country. What they don’t realise is that we are all so fucking stuck up and so tightly wound that we are all completely fucked up. It took me all these years to find the strength to face myself, to accept myself, all because this stupid attitude prevails in my family. It is stupid, it is harmful and it is just plain hatred. I wish they would educate themselves on Gender Identity issues.

All I want is to be accepted by my family. I am not asking for understanding as even I don’t understand half the time. I am just asking for them to accept me for who I am. And I don’t know why they have such a difficult time with it. I am not affecting them at all. I am only trying to live the second half of my life in some measure of happiness that does no harm to them or anyone else. And yet they obstinately cling to their stupidity that causes more harm than anything else.

All I want is for my family to finally realise that while its hard for them, its bloody even harder for me. They have no idea how difficult it was for me to tell them who and what I was. My life has not been a fucking picnic and its not been one since I came out either. Its about time for them to come to terms with the truth. And its coming close to time for them to Step up or Step off.