A Trans Story - Gender Marker

A Trans Story – Gender Marker

Its been a while, mostly since nothing significant has happened. During any journey there are times when nothing of import is going on and I don’t really find a need to report on nothing. But then there are other times, like yesterday, when something big happens. It may not mean much to other people, but its huge for me. I got my gender marker changed on my license.

When you look at a drivers license the gender marker seems so innocuous. Its so small, difficult to see and most people probably don’t even notice it. But to a Trans person it is huge, significant of overwhelming importance. Travelling around with a license that has an M on there, when I am presenting and feel female was one of the most frustrating things for me and it seemed to take forever to get anywhere.

So lets rewind to the beginning of the year, or a bit before. When the Trumpleton won I was worried that I would have difficulty changing some items that needed to be changed, so I decided to go ahead and start the processes. So jump ahead to February, I had a court date and legally changed my name. Got a court document regarding that and then started looking for the next steps. Those steps took a long time.

My next step was to update immigration and whoosh that office of bureaucratic nonsense is as slow as they come. The application for changing information on my immigration card was not done immediately, as I wished to change my gender marker at the same time, since they charge you hundreds of dollars for a new card. So there I had to find an MD to write a letter stating I was female. My medical provider at the time was not an MD which meant finding another one. Not something that bothered me too much. I was uncomfortable with my current provider anyway and figured it was time to change. But it being Nashville there are not a huge amount of options for an MD that will prescribe hormones to a Trans Woman and who will support their cause to change gender marker. Took me a couple of months, but I got all the required documentation and applied for my new card in April. Nearly 2 full months later I had my bio-metric appointment and then I waited 3 months before trying to update my social security card. Well come to find out that 3 months was not nearly enough time for immigration – sheesh, but I decided to forge ahead and try to get my Drivers License changed. I really wanted atleast one form of ID that matched who I really was.

Fast forward to October 23^rd about 9 months after starting the process to change my name and gender and I finally, finally have something completely updated. I was elated about it. My very first thought was that it was now safer for me to be pulled over when driving.

Now that’s not something most people think, lol. Nor does the average person even think about it. But I ask that you all take a moment to consider. I am a woman, I present as a woman every single day. I wear dresses, heels, makeup and I feel that I do not look in any way masculine and yet for the longest time my drivers license stated M – I was constantly worried about making a mistake while driving and being pulled over, particularly in Nashville. I drove with the constant concern of being pulled over by a right wing, Christian conservative cop who would hate me because my license said M while I looked female. Its not a good thing to be worried about. And that’s what really annoys me about these conservatives up and down the country that don’t want us to have protections, or want us to be able to update our personal documentation – they do not consider our safety at all. Those morons that want us to use the incorrect restroom. They don’t care that they are setting us up for violent reactions. Those idiots that want to prevent us from updated personal information – they don’t care what they are putting us through on a daily basis. And then the people that are not affected by it either way, sometimes don’t seem to care enough to be concerned about our safety. We need protections in place for daily life, for work, for health and just to be treated equally. We don’t need people to make things harder for us, or for people to shrug their shoulders about how difficult things are.

But finally I now have one item that has my true identity on there. Despite the Trumpleton and the right wing brigade I have been able to correct things on one ID. My license now bears the name that I have chosen. The name that I think best represents who I am. And more importantly it finally contains the most important letter of all – that blessed F that I have been searching for my entire life. It does show one positive thing. Trumpleton might be able to reverse policies enacted by Obama, but he cannot reverse the attitude inspired by the Obama administration, for its government employees. So we have some hope.

But there needs to be more. In some states, TN included, it is impossible to change, or correct your birth certificate. The most fundamental documentation you can have, the one you have to supply for almost everything from a passport to a marriage license and you are unable to change it. This is just wrong and is setting trans people of up for violent, hate filled reactions. I mean the birth certificate was drawn up when we were just born. At a time when no one could possibly conceive what the future would bring. Someone else chose the name and gender, possibly based upon what they saw in you and dreamt of for your future, but how could a parent, or doctor at that time possibly know what the future may bring. I say this for all people, not just Trans. I truly think that at some point, say 18 or 21, people should be able to take a look at their identity as it exists on their birth certificate and then they can determine if that still defines them. And if it doesn’t, then a correction should be issued. Oh I understand the need to maintain information and to know who began as what, but change should be encouraged if that identity is no longer relevant. The name and gender I was given at birth is not relevant for who I am today, so why should I need to keep it. Fortunately I will not, but so many others do not have that option. And is it really so much to ask that they be allowed to change documentation to match their identity?

I do understand the need for good record keeping, and when I was complaining, quite possibly whining about it yesterday, lol, my wife did raise a good argument for some care to be taken. She mentioned that authorities do need to be aware of these things. If something were to happen then they would need to know that I was female and if all our information could be changed easily, without keeping good records then yes the authorities would have difficulty if they needed to issue a description about me. So yes I do indeed understand that they need to make sure I am not changing to commit fraud, or escape some other kind of official notice. And for the sake of descriptions then yes they need to be aware of the change from M to F, so in regards to that, I fully understand, but do they need to make us jump through quite so many hoops? And do they need to make it take so long to get shit changed. Cause I mean for like 9 months now I have looked female every day, but my identification has said otherwise. So while its good for them to keep up to date information, for those 9 months they didn’t have up to date information. Things need to move more swiftly and be slightly easier.

But as of right now my license is up to date. Oh and I got my new social security card too, so that’s 2 out of 3 and I am so happy about that. Now I can start to get things changed at my bank, get some bank cards with the right name on it and I can finally start signing receipts with the signature I have been practicing for months, instead of the abbreviated one I adopted to avoid using my male name. And I can happily show my ID when asked for it when buying adult beverages, lol. I got to use it yesterday when buying Nyquil, he, he, he – and for the first time this year I was completely happy to show my license, because I know all the information on it matched how I looked.